Crutch
by Angel N Darkness
Summary: Hermione has fallen in love with the one man she shouldn't have. Will he ever love her or admit to her or will he keep being an arse? Will he ever leave his past behind or will he continue to use it as a crutch to keep him from what he really wants?


A/N: Hey all this will be a oneshot... Katie and I made a Song Title Prompt Challenge forum so if you'd like to check it out the link is on my profile... *groans * This oneshot is done to one of the prompts and is a dare from Katie... I couldn't think of a way to use the title at first but then I figured out a way... So hold on to your seat folks you're in for one hell of a ride...

Disclaimer: I don't own HP or the song...

Prompt: Crutch – Theory of a Deadman

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Hermione was in love with a man who she knew would never lover her back. She hadn't meant to fall in love with him. Hell she didn't really want to love him because she knew that he could and would hurt her in one way or another. In fact he already had. As she sat looking out the window in her bedroom in her dormitory she let her tears fall.

She heard a knock at her door bug ignored it. She was glad that she had put her wards up at the door to her bedroom and the door that led from her room to the bathroom. She didn't want to see anyone right now. All she wanted was to be left alone. All she wanted was to have some peace from the nightmare that her life has become since she realized that she had fallen in love with the one man she shouldn't have.

She closed her eyes as the pain wracked through her body. She couldn't blame him because he didn't know how she felt about him. Even as she cried she promised to herself that she would never let him know that he had the power to break her. As she thought about that she couldn't help but think bloody hell he had already broke her.

As her crying stopped anger coursed through her. She was angry at him for the words he had said and she was angry at herself for falling for him. Without even thinking about what she was doing she stood up and walked over to her bed and pulled the picture she had of him from underneath her pillow and hurled the picture frames at the wall even as she let out a scream. "I hate you! Gods how I hate you!"

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Draco was pacing in the common room he shared with Hermione when he heard the sound of glass breaking coming from Hermione's room along with a scream and then her shouting "I hate you! Gods how I hate you."

He frowned and headed to Hermione's door and tried to get in. He swore when he couldn't. He took out his wand and cast his patronus sending it after Harry and Severus alerting them both that something was wrong with Hermione.

He turned back towards Hermione's bedroom door and pounded on it. "Hermione? Hermione open up your door damn it."

When he didn't get a response he to worry even more than he already had been.

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Harry was in Severus's office talking to him about something he had read when Draco's patronus came in and said in Draco's voice "Something is wrong with Hermione. You are both needed in the Head Boy's and Head Girl's room."

Harry turned on his heel even as Severus stood up and ran out of the office with Severus on his heels. He wanted to get to Hermione as quick as he could and check on her.

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Hermione heard Draco pounding on her bedroom door but once again ignored him. If she wasn't so angry she may have realized that she forgotten to put up a silencing charm so that nobody could hear her. Her anger was as absolute as her sadness was.

"Why? Why did you say those words to me? What is wrong with me? Why can't anyone love me? Why does everyone hurt me? Why damn it why? What is so bloody wrong with me that I'm unworthy of love?" Hermione screamed. She was starting to feel a little better so she decided to keep screaming her anger and pain out. "Why did I have to fall for you? Why do I still love you? I don't want to love you. I don't want to be hurt. Gods I don't want to hurt anymore!"

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Harry and Severus got to the painting that protected the Head Boy's and Girl's room at t he same time and said the password and dashed in just in time to hear Hermione scream "I don't want to love you. I don't want to hurt. Gods I don't want to hurt anymore!"

Harry looked at Draco with wide eyes. "Who is Hermione talking to?"

Draco shook his head. "As far as I know nobody is in there with her. She came back earlier from wherever she had been and locked herself in her room."

Harry frowned and walked over to Hermione's bedroom door with Severus and Draco behind him and he pounded on the door. "'Mione? Will you please let me in or at least open the door so we know that you are okay?"

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Hermione heard Harry and sighed. She felt exhausted as all of the anger she had been feeling drained out of her. She knew that she couldn't and wouldn't let Harry worry about her after everything he had been through in his life but especially in the last year.

She walked over to her door and took down the wards she had set up and then opened the door. Her eyes took in Draco who was standing next to Harry and then widened in shock when she saw Severus standing behind them. All the anger that had left her returned and it was ten times stronger that it was earlier.

Without even thinking about what she was doing she accioed a book and then threw it at Severus's head. "You! What in the bloody hell are you doing here?"

Severus's eyes widened in shock as Hermione threw a book at him. He was that his reflexes were as good as they were because he was able to stop the book before it hit him. He looked at Hermione and could tell that she was furious and not thinking straight because if she had been thinking straight he knew that she never would have thrown a book at him. His eyes narrowed as he watched the anger vibrate off of Hermione. "Miss Granger!"

When Hermione heard Severus say her name like he did fury pounded through her. "Don't you dare Miss Granger me you bloody bastard!"

Draco and Harry both gasped and exclaimed in shock "Hermione!"

Severus was staring at Hermione like he didn't know her. In the seven well eight years he has known her he's never heard her talk like she just did and that included when they were fighting for their lives. "Miss Granger what is the matter with you?"

Hermione ignored Draco and Harry and focused on what Severus said to her. Without even using her wand she cast a wandless and silent silencing charm so that Harry and Draco couldn't hear what she had to say. "It's none of your business what is wrong with me. I'm technically no longer your student since come tomorrow we graduate so you can't make me tell you what is the matter. I'd appreciate if you would just leave."

Severus shook his head and glared at Hermione and then made the silencing spell she had around them disappear and then looked at Harry and Draco. "I need to speak to Miss Granger alone."

Hermione shook her head no but Draco and Harry were already walking out of the common room and into the hall. She had no doubt that they were going to go and do rounds. She looked at Severus and glared. "You had no right to do that! I have nothing to say to you!"

Severus looked at Hermione with hard eyes. "I may no longer be your Professor but you will talk to me with respect. Now what in the bloody hell is the matter with you Granger?"

Hermione snorted. "As if you don't know what is wrong with me you bloody git!"

Severus raised an eyebrow at that. "How would I know what is wrong with you Miss Granger?"

Hermione narrowed her eyes and then screamed before shouting "How would you know what is wrong with me? I know you are old but I didn't realize that you were that old to where you couldn't remember the words you said to me earlier today. Gods you are unbelievable."

Severus took a step forward and sneered "What about what I said earlier today Miss Granger? I don't recall saying anything that was wrong on my part."

Hermione's heart broke in her chest but she wouldn't allow Severus to see it. She narrowed her eyes at him and gave a bitter laugh. "You would think that. After all I am unlovable. I mean come on I have to be since even Ron cheated on me. Nobody will ever want to be with me because I'm a know it all. What was the other thing you said? Oh I remember now. You told me that nobody wants a cold witch that is barely passable in looks when there are witches that are willing to do anything even if they are only passable in looks. Wasn't that what you said? Then there is the way you looked at me. I hope you are proud of yourself Professor because you managed to not only make me loathe you but you managed to make me want to hate you even though I love you. Now if you'd leave I'd appreciate it. I have some things I need to finish so I can leave in the morning."

Severus stared at Hermione in shock as he registered what she had just said. He looked into her eyes and saw just how much he had hurt her in them before she managed to mask it. "Miss Granger..."

Hermione glared at Severus and interrupted him by saying "I asked you to leave Professor. I have nothing more to say to you and I don't wish to hear what you have to say. I need to finish packing so I can leave in the morning. I'm not even going to attend the Graduation Ceremony because I really don't want to have to see you again.

Without waiting to see if Severus would leave or not Hermione walked back into her bedroom and slammed the door shut and put her wards back up. She flung herself onto her bed and let the tears that she had been keeping at bay fall from her eyes. She couldn't believe that she had just told Severus that she loved him. She couldn't stifle the sob that rose in her chest before it escaped.

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Severus stared at the bedroom door in shock. He heard Hermione crying and sighed. He hadn't know that she loved him. He hadn't known that the words he had said to her would cut so deeply within her. He hadn't even meant what he had said to her. The only reason he had said those harsh and hateful words was because he wanted nothing more than to pull her into his arms and snog her senseless.

He closed his eyes and then opened them with a determined look in them. He took his wand out and set about breaking through the wards Hermione had put up. By the time he had broken through her wards forty minutes had passed. He opened up her door and smirked when he saw the shocked look on Hermione's face as she tried to wipe the tears away. "You are going to listen to what I have to say to you Miss Granger. I don't care if you are angry at me you NEVER slam a door shut in my face. Now quit your crying and come out to the common room so we can talk."

Hermione sat up on her bed and glared. "I'm staying right where I am. I have nothing to say to you."

Severus glared right back. "Fine then you can just listen and make sure you listen because I'm only saying this once. I'm sorry that my words hurt you. I never wished to hurt you but I did. Hermione I was your Professor and I'm twenty one years older than you. Besides all that I was a Death Eater. When you came to see me earlier today I looked at you and felt my world stop. I'm not one to talk about how I feel but you deserve to know why I acted the way that I did. I acted that way because..."

Hermione jumped up off her bed and stomped over to Severus and poked in him the chest repeatedly while she snarled "NO! You don't get to use the fact that you were a Death Eater. As long as I've known you, you have used the fact that you were a Death Eater or a Spy as a **crutch**! Well not this time! If you want me to listen to you then be honest with me and don't you the fact that you use to be a Death Eater or a Spy as a reason to hold back. If you're going to then I refuse to bloody well listen to you! Stop being a bloody bastard for one damn second and be yourself and tell me what you think, what you feel and what you fucking want because I sure as hell don't know what it is you want from me!"

Severus looked at Hermione once again in shock. He couldn't believe she had just swore in front of him. He sighed though and gave her a nod. "Fine then. I said those words to you today because I was trying to push you away. Every since the Final Battle I have seen you as more than a student. The first week school was back in session I realized that you meant more to me than you should. When you came to talk to me today I had to be harsh or I knew I would pull you into my arms and snog you within an inch of our lives."

Hermione was so engrossed in what Severus was saying that she hadn't heard Draco and Harry come back. She didn't have eyes for anything or anyone but the man who was standing in front of her. As she looked into his eyes she she the love shining in them that she never thought she would see. "Oh Severus. All of this could have been avoided if only you would have snogged me within an inch of my life. How could you not know how I felt and still feel about you? All you had to do was look in my eyes and you would have seen it. Hell even Draco and Harry knew that I was in love with you!"

Severus's eyes widened and then before he thought what he was about to do through he pulled Hermione into his arms and crashed his lips upon hers. He may not have snogged her within an inch of her life earlier but he was going to do so now. He couldn't stop the groan from escaping his lips and going into Hermione's as he plunged his tongue into her open mouth.

Hermione lifted her arms up and wrapped them around Severus's neck even as she stood on her tip toes to get more friction between her and Severus's mouth. She broke the kiss and gulped in a breath of air and then sealed her lips back to his again and moaned at the feeling of his tongue plundering her mouth.

Severus couldn't believe that he was finally kissing Hermione. He loved the taste of her and he loved the feel of her in his arms. He was so lost in her that he didn't even hear as Draco and Harry started whistling at them. He broke the kiss and put his forehead against Hermione's and took in deep breaths trying to get his breathing back under control. Once he had it under control he looked Hermione in the eye. "I love you Hermione Granger."

Hermione smiled wide and said "I love you too Severus Snape."

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Draco and Harry looked at one another and then yelled "Awww how cute! Are you two done snogging one another now?"

Severus and Hermione both turned their heads and when they saw Draco and Harry standing there their eyes widened in shock and Severus demanded "When did you two get back here?"

Draco and Harry both smirked and Draco said "We got here about the time you were explaining to 'Mione why you were harsh to her. I have to say that I'm happy you two finally told one another how you felt. The sexual tension between you two was strong and just about burnt Harry and me anytime we were in the same room as you two. Now would you two like to join us for a drink?"

Severus looked at Hermione with a raised eyebrow. "Well love?"

Hermione smiled and nodded. "Sure we'll join you two. But first I want to snog Severus again since I now know how he feels."

Harry and Draco chuckled and walked out of the common room and into Draco's room to get the drink even as they heard Severus say "Well snog me then witch."

Hermione grinned and did just that. She couldn't believe how happy she was and how good of a kisser Severus was. Once she was finished snogging him she pulled back. "I love you Severus and I have for a long time and I will til the end of time."

Severus smiled slightly and whispered "As I love you Hermione and I always will. You are my life now and we will be together."

Hermione nodded and then walked out into the common room with Severus's hand in her own.

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><p>AN 2: *cries* This story took on a life of it's own... The song title prompt was a dare from Katie... *looks at Katie and grins* I can't wait to see what you come up with for the dare I gave you... Click the button and let me know what you think!


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